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Unfinished Business
Unfinished Business
The great tragedy of life
is not that some men perish
but that they cease to love.
---W. Somerset Maugham
This exercise takes a look at unfinished business and the need to finish this business so we can get on with the rest of our lives. Unfinished business is the psychological baggage we cart along with us throughout our lives. It is the love we didn't get or give, the smiles we withheld, the many thank-you's we failed to say. In short, it is the sum of our regrets about our conduct towards other people, primarily those we love, wanted to love, or from whom we wanted love. The process of completing unfinished business is often necessary for survivors during the grieving period. Sometimes caregivers even find themselves assisting the dying in this finishing work.
Think of one person in your life who means a lot to you and imagine if that person were to die tomorrow. What should you have said to them? Write your responses to the following:
1. What were some of your happy moments together?
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2. What were some of your unhappy moments together?
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3. What are the circumstances of your most painful memories with this person?
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4. When you think of this person, what sadness comes to mind?
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5. What will you miss most about this person?
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6. What unfinished business do you wish that you had discussed with this person?
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7. What unfinished business do you wish they had discussed with you?
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8. If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently in this relationship?
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9. What is it about your communication style or the other person's communication style that allowed these circumstances to occur and develop?
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10. Since this was an exercise with a person who has not actually died, what might you do now to correct any problems with this relationship? Will you do it? Explain.
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